Have y'all found that when life doesn't go our way we want to throw ourselves on the floor and kick and scream just like a toddler does? Well that's essentially what I did for the first month we were home. I went to church, but I would grind my teeth and sob in anger the entire service. I did not want to read my Bible (luckily, I had written verses on notecards and placed them all over my house or I would not have been reading scripture in that first month home), I did not want to hear that God had a plan, I wanted my baby girl home with me and I let God know that every single day.
The good days slowly began to occur closer together, but when the bad days came it felt like I was being punched in the stomach. As the first month passed I was getting anxious and wanted to be matched with another baby. I thought having a baby in my home would be what would take the pain away. I was not relying on God to be my greatest comfort.
At the end of the second month we got the call from our adoption agency that they were showing our profile book to multiple birthmoms. God was about to use our first disrupted adoption to bring me much closer to him...
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