We were matched by our agency with a birthmom very quickly! We got the call in the middle of March that we had been matched with a birthmom who was having a baby girl and who was due in June! We were exstatic!! We imediately said we would accept this referral. We announced our match to all of our friends, family, and co-workers. People started offering to throw us baby showers and we began preparing for the birth of our daughter. We had 3 baby showers and got the nursery decorated within a month. I had spoken to our birthmother on the phone and we texted back and forth atleast every-other-day. The last thing on my mind was a disrruption.
In the middle of the night, on June 10th, we got the text that our daughter had arrived. We threw everything in the car and began our 10 hour journey to the hospital our birthmom had delivered in. We met our Caroline Anne on June 11th and she was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Josh and I were completely smitten with her. We left the hospital with her on June 12th and went back to our hotel. My parents and brother and Josh's mom were all there to meet the newest addition to the family. We spend the next few days cuddling, feeding, and loving our sweet Caroline.
The morning of June 15th Josh took Caroline and his mom to breakfast and let me sleep since I had been up most of the night with the baby. My phone rang at 8:30 am and it was the director of our adoption agency. She asked me if I had talked to our birthmom and I said we had been texted back and forth. The she said the phrase I never expected to hear. "She has changed her mind." My world stopped in that minute. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think, I did not understand what was happening.
We were able to spend the majority of that day holding and praying for our sweet baby girl. At 4:30 that afternoon we took her to the lawyers office and handed her back to her birthmother. I have never cried so hard in my life. I could not understand why this was happening to us, why we were having to give our baby girl up. The only thing I could say to Josh, in between sobs was, God has a plan.
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